The day my pa left…..

One of the hardest things to do after a brain injury is to accept you need help, closely followed by learning to live with someone helping you. The Carer/cared for relationship is so complex and so when you find a special one it’s really time for your emotional intelligence to dust off those cobwebs.
Carer no 2 was with me for three years and when we came to the end of our road together, emotions were doing somersaults.
Having my pa gave me independence and confidence in everyday situations. Our days were varied, spanning from a continence clinic to afternoon tea at Harrods. There were tears and laughter, generally a drama, always a list and a mutual appreciation of hydrangeas, fashion, food and social media.

Well, in a nutshell initially I did think this was a disaster and there was no seeing the wood from the trees. Emotionally I had never dealt with anything like this and I really didn’t know how to feel. You open your circle of trust to someone who sees your best times and your worst but still it’s a working relationship.
At the end of the day it is absolutely true that it is always better to have loved and to lose rather than never to have loved at all. Maybe a little over the top but you get the jist.
I think my pa’s departing words summed up this relationship when it works well; “it has been great working with you, not always easy but fun”.
I did initially struggle with the not always easy part but I’m taking it as a compliment. Easy would have been boring! 

The day my pa left…..

One thought on “The day my pa left…..

  1. barbara says:

    Well Tams, as always you have handled this so well. I knew you were grieving and change is so hard for you. Like any Mary Poppins (and she is), she came just when you needed her and then she realised you had moved on so much, it was time to move on and offer her very special touch somewhere else.
    So true to have loved, all of us that came in contact felt the same way. New PA’s now, new episodes and challenges to face. I know you will be your usual positive self and the new people you have chosen will be equally loved.xx


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