Before I begin my rant over living with a blue badge I would like to say that I have seen this problem from both sides. On a trip to watch the invictus games (military games for injured veterans) I saw a guy walking out with seemingly nothing wrong with him and to my horror what came out of my mouth shocked me. In reality his injuries were most likely far more serious than many visible disabilities but yet I made that judgement as he looked fine. I of course revoked this immediately and was furious with myself for judging someone in the same way I am frustratingly judged everyday grrr.

I think at this point I have to throw political correctness out the window as someone will take offence; so for the purposes of today’s rant I am going to use the term old and young people loosely. On that note I personally view young people as people in education/learning with a optimistic naive look out on life and I view old people as knowledgeable, experienced and Worldly. You obviously cannot judge a book by its cover but I need to make a few general sweeping assumptions here or we would be here all day.

A disabled parking space allows extra space around the parked car for move ability and they are generally situated near an entrance. I think we can pretty much agree that this is acceptable? Don’t ever get my mother started on parent and child spaces 😴.

There are however a group of individuals that make it their life’s work to guard this privilege and I find these guardians generally come with a touch of vigilante naivety. So let’s picture the scene. A 30something drives into a disabled space (looking noteably attractive and absolutely fine). This starts the feathers ruffling. You can then see them shuffling in their seats as the adrenaline has started pumping, they may have found someone without a blue badge parking in a disabled space. One can then witness the under breath muttering as to the issue that the 30 something doesn’t look very disabled. At this point and maybe it is a little cruel, it is really fun to get the buggy out of the car before putting the badge up. This literally makes the blood boil. Not only are you parking in a disabled space but you think it’s a mother and baby space. It’s all too much, the guardian makes their approach. 

“Do you know that this is a disabled space?” On a bad day when a brain injury has meant you have vomited all morning, dropped a knife on your foot as your grip is damaged, battled with balance issues and peronsality restrictions it is increasingly difficult not to tell them to go and take a very long walk off a short pier. However, this would just make you feel bad (I am a great believer in Karma) so one just takes out their disabled badge and displays it. Job done.

My very good friend and fellow surviver has an amazing sticker on his car that says -“I may not look disabled but then again you don’t look stupid”. This I believe is a stroke of pure genius.

I can only plead with people that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Obviously if someone appears to be stealing the wheels off a car in a car park this may warrant intervention but they may well just have four punctures!. 

Disability comes in so many forms and each person deals with that in very different ways. Everything is relative in people’s worlds and coming from probably one of the most judgemental people in this plant, I am consciously making an effort to try and Kurb my opinions that old people are not disabled just because they are old, oops.

Xxx

I can imagine you are sitting on the edge of your seat following on from that title but bear with me.

I am compelled to write this having just got ready for the day as this is the hardest bit of my day. It sounds ridiculous but since acquiring an odd brain this has become a mission. I wanted to write about this to maybe see if I am being a tad melodramatic when it is in black and white and secondly show others in similar situations that you are not alone. So many people assume a brain injury is a headache. I have being trying to sum my experience up and it generally equates to standing in a room for ages trying to remember what you came into the room to do whilst remaining upright. This makes me feel frustrated and grumpy and cross with myself that I’m not on the ball.

My day begins with a what can only be described as trying to remain upright going down the stairs. I wake up dizzy and my legs don’t like to work so sometimes my feet decide to miss a step or not support my weight both resulting in a hair raising journey to the bottom. I think my very close neighbours (I live in a mid terrace) must think I am very active in the morning with the little run I do at the end of the staircase to stop myself.

Next step is the dreaded shower. This involves the tricky task of trying to remain upright whilst standing on a wet surface. Generally the threat of fireman finding me naked on the floor gives the the will power to preserve remaining upright. Next step is to try and wash my hair keeping my eyes open (I lose my balance when I close them). I won’t go into too much detail about my shower experience but I can guarantee I won’t be doing any adverts for radox anytime soon.

An important point arises here that I have noticed with brain injury. Everyday tasks do become difficult so any minor thing ie my towel isn’t in its normal place or I need to plug my hairdryer in literally makes my heart sink and the grumpiness scale moves up further. When I complain about these things I know I sound irrational out loud but that doesn’t stop it from making life just that little bit harder.

The last stages in getting ready are drying my hair, doing my make up and getting dressed. Theses generally involve some form of discomfort ranging from  hitting myself on the head with my hair dryer randomly or burning a finger with my straighteners to stabbing myself in the nose with my mascara. The most fun bit is remaining upright on a perching stool. A very good idea but the design fault here comes with nearly always falling off backwards or if I lean too far forward, tipping forward. I literally live life on the edge, and not in a good way.

I will just add at this point that I am generally extremely grumpy and very hot. Not a great combination for the start of a day. My main carer has come to see this is a problem and does like to offer advice. One of my favourite ideas was a to use a thing that litter pickers use to pick up rubbish to help put my underwear on. This is a very tricky pass time but I had to point out that putting a large leg through a large hole was a little easier than skilfully multi tasking and using hand eye coordination at the same time as balancing and trying to see ( I can’t see downwards) to pinch a pair or knickers and somehow put them on. I am also 32 years old with the hope of one day finding a nice man. I’m not sure they teach this at how to be a domestic goddess!

Just when I am at breaking point, literally blood sweat and tears (with the odd bit of nausea thrown in) things turn around. It’s time to take some time out to discuss Barbies relationship with Ken and their true love status. This goes on for a while with important diversions such as “mummy can I paint my nails ( no, you are on your way to school) and there is to be a change in the theme of her birthday party ( it’s not until August).  My smile has been restored.

And we are off out 😃

Introducing me Tamsyn, Esme age 4 and Bob the cat 6 months 😊 

 

How exciting. It has taken effort, frustration, optimism and a cracking support network for my blog to happen and here it is.

I am a 32 year old with a brain injury. On paper that doesn’t look great, but what does it mean? That’s what I want this blog to be about. The practical parts of disability, family life, socializing and generally functioning but also the more amusing side of life that keeps me going.

Summing myself up – I am 32 year old law graduate, ex career girl, survivor and the best part, have a four year old princess called Esme. I have chairi malformation, syringomyelia and an acquired brain injury. My life turned upside down in September 2011 when my journey started.

Its going to be different! 😉