I can imagine you are sitting on the edge of your seat following on from that title but bear with me.

I am compelled to write this having just got ready for the day as this is the hardest bit of my day. It sounds ridiculous but since acquiring an odd brain this has become a mission. I wanted to write about this to maybe see if I am being a tad melodramatic when it is in black and white and secondly show others in similar situations that you are not alone. So many people assume a brain injury is a headache. I have being trying to sum my experience up and it generally equates to standing in a room for ages trying to remember what you came into the room to do whilst remaining upright. This makes me feel frustrated and grumpy and cross with myself that I’m not on the ball.

My day begins with a what can only be described as trying to remain upright going down the stairs. I wake up dizzy and my legs don’t like to work so sometimes my feet decide to miss a step or not support my weight both resulting in a hair raising journey to the bottom. I think my very close neighbours (I live in a mid terrace) must think I am very active in the morning with the little run I do at the end of the staircase to stop myself.

Next step is the dreaded shower. This involves the tricky task of trying to remain upright whilst standing on a wet surface. Generally the threat of fireman finding me naked on the floor gives the the will power to preserve remaining upright. Next step is to try and wash my hair keeping my eyes open (I lose my balance when I close them). I won’t go into too much detail about my shower experience but I can guarantee I won’t be doing any adverts for radox anytime soon.

An important point arises here that I have noticed with brain injury. Everyday tasks do become difficult so any minor thing ie my towel isn’t in its normal place or I need to plug my hairdryer in literally makes my heart sink and the grumpiness scale moves up further. When I complain about these things I know I sound irrational out loud but that doesn’t stop it from making life just that little bit harder.

The last stages in getting ready are drying my hair, doing my make up and getting dressed. Theses generally involve some form of discomfort ranging from  hitting myself on the head with my hair dryer randomly or burning a finger with my straighteners to stabbing myself in the nose with my mascara. The most fun bit is remaining upright on a perching stool. A very good idea but the design fault here comes with nearly always falling off backwards or if I lean too far forward, tipping forward. I literally live life on the edge, and not in a good way.

I will just add at this point that I am generally extremely grumpy and very hot. Not a great combination for the start of a day. My main carer has come to see this is a problem and does like to offer advice. One of my favourite ideas was a to use a thing that litter pickers use to pick up rubbish to help put my underwear on. This is a very tricky pass time but I had to point out that putting a large leg through a large hole was a little easier than skilfully multi tasking and using hand eye coordination at the same time as balancing and trying to see ( I can’t see downwards) to pinch a pair or knickers and somehow put them on. I am also 32 years old with the hope of one day finding a nice man. I’m not sure they teach this at how to be a domestic goddess!

Just when I am at breaking point, literally blood sweat and tears (with the odd bit of nausea thrown in) things turn around. It’s time to take some time out to discuss Barbies relationship with Ken and their true love status. This goes on for a while with important diversions such as “mummy can I paint my nails ( no, you are on your way to school) and there is to be a change in the theme of her birthday party ( it’s not until August).  My smile has been restored.

And we are off out 😃