When I put the first Sports day in my diary for my 4 yr old I didn’t give it a second thought. It’s a rite of passage of us overly enthusiastic first time parents and I didn’t give it a second thought. Why should I, it’s going to be a great day out?
I am obviously starting to forget that I have a brain injury from the above statement but it hit me like a ton of bricks a few days before. The mixture of emotions, I can’t wait for sports day, I am absolutely dreading the practicalities of sports day and I am so frustrated how a problem I have is impacting so heavily on this situation. Frustration is my biggest battle in life and this was a huge reminder.
So the big day arrives and frankly I am dreading it. You wouldn’t think so if you saw our morning ritual. We had a sporting breakfast, a briefing on winning and quite a few renditions of ‘we are the champions’. It was sports day and it was going to be brilliant.
After battling a cross country trek to the sports field (in reality a trip across the playground) I am ignoring my limitations and taking in the atmosphere. To be perfectly honest I was becoming very overwhelmed with the situation obviously in a very calm and controlled manner. I’m not sure how I would have faired had I not been surrounded by good friends. Forget superfoods what we need is super friends. These are the ones that do the little things that allow me to function. They really are amazeballs.
So then carer of the year arrives with a camping stool. I am not sure if there is anything more impractical for someone with a brain injury. Firstly it’s so low down that it requires a squatting action (not attractive when you have little balance. It then has two flimsy legs which is debatable as to whether it will hold my 10 stone figure and no back support so the risk of falling of backwards is greatly heightened. How I survive on a day to day basis I have no idea. I can only think I am kept on my toes as a motivating tool to ensure I keep going.
So I worried all night and day about the parents race. Literally feeling like a huge disappoint to my daughter for not being able to participate. There was no parents race! However instead of being relieved it was just another frustration. I still have no idea how to channel this so general grumpiness displays.
It was a fantastic day, the kids were amazing, the parents got into the spirit of it, I was an extremely proud mummy if a little pushy at times and even though we didn’t win ( I am not sure the scoring was up to much!) I enjoyed it.
When I say I enjoyed it I must have had a whale of a time as the difficulties of the day were outweighed by the good stuff. Just a word of advice to all parents, don’t stand anywhere near a goal post as four year olds have a very random penalty technique. Especially dangerous if you can’t move very fast.
Having a brain injury can literally ruin every moment you should be enjoying. I’m not sure one can ever get rid of that underlying worry as it does need to exist to aid self preservation. I haven’t found that answer but I do know that the constant trying is very hard but more often than not it’s worth it.