Before I begin my rant over living with a blue badge I would like to say that I have seen this problem from both sides. On a trip to watch the invictus games (military games for injured veterans) I saw a guy walking out with seemingly nothing wrong with him and to my horror what came out of my mouth shocked me. In reality his injuries were most likely far more serious than many visible disabilities but yet I made that judgement as he looked fine. I of course revoked this immediately and was furious with myself for judging someone in the same way I am frustratingly judged everyday grrr.
I think at this point I have to throw political correctness out the window as someone will take offence; so for the purposes of today’s rant I am going to use the term old and young people loosely. On that note I personally view young people as people in education/learning with a optimistic naive look out on life and I view old people as knowledgeable, experienced and Worldly. You obviously cannot judge a book by its cover but I need to make a few general sweeping assumptions here or we would be here all day.
A disabled parking space allows extra space around the parked car for move ability and they are generally situated near an entrance. I think we can pretty much agree that this is acceptable? Don’t ever get my mother started on parent and child spaces 😴.
There are however a group of individuals that make it their life’s work to guard this privilege and I find these guardians generally come with a touch of vigilante naivety. So let’s picture the scene. A 30something drives into a disabled space (looking noteably attractive and absolutely fine). This starts the feathers ruffling. You can then see them shuffling in their seats as the adrenaline has started pumping, they may have found someone without a blue badge parking in a disabled space. One can then witness the under breath muttering as to the issue that the 30 something doesn’t look very disabled. At this point and maybe it is a little cruel, it is really fun to get the buggy out of the car before putting the badge up. This literally makes the blood boil. Not only are you parking in a disabled space but you think it’s a mother and baby space. It’s all too much, the guardian makes their approach.
“Do you know that this is a disabled space?” On a bad day when a brain injury has meant you have vomited all morning, dropped a knife on your foot as your grip is damaged, battled with balance issues and peronsality restrictions it is increasingly difficult not to tell them to go and take a very long walk off a short pier. However, this would just make you feel bad (I am a great believer in Karma) so one just takes out their disabled badge and displays it. Job done.
My very good friend and fellow surviver has an amazing sticker on his car that says -“I may not look disabled but then again you don’t look stupid”. This I believe is a stroke of pure genius.
I can only plead with people that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Obviously if someone appears to be stealing the wheels off a car in a car park this may warrant intervention but they may well just have four punctures!.
Disability comes in so many forms and each person deals with that in very different ways. Everything is relative in people’s worlds and coming from probably one of the most judgemental people in this plant, I am consciously making an effort to try and Kurb my opinions that old people are not disabled just because they are old, oops.
Xxx
TryingtobeTamsyn 
My sister has had to suffer this judgement a few times… With one particular person calling out of their window “you wouldn’t like my disability” to which she calmly replied “and i’m sure you wouldn’t like mine”.
But the time I was with her, we had my son and the buggy with us and the look of disgust we were given my someone already parked was unbelievable. Clearly they hadn’t spotted the badge, already displayed, and had made their jugement along with another person in another car looking for a space. It was really nasty, such a shame people don’t think before they act, or rather just keep their thoughts to themselves. xoxox
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So beautifully put. I know exactly where you are coming from as I have experienced it numerous times with you. The sad thing is, that because I am “old” the guardians assume I am the disabled one and don’t challenge us!!!! Can’t wait for your next, very amusing and understandable “rant”.
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I have just got my Blue badge but haven’t had the chance to use it yet. But will look out for people looking at us when we do. Maybe the thing to do is to wave the badge in their faces until they look away. Would that shame them sufficiently?
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I’m used to the looks, it’s Sarah (my wife) who it annoys still. I just point to my car stickers and walk off.
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Having read your lovely blog again, I have some points to make. “Just because people are old they are not disabled”. As you know I have a huge issue re. mother and child spaces. I would be perfectly happy about them if they were situated at the far part of the parking areas. Let’s hope that most young mums are perfectly fit and can walk a little bit. Dare I say the exercise for them and their kids could be seen as advantageous? Older people tend to be restricted with all sorts of ailments especially arthritis, wonky hips and knees. They have also contributed greatly to the tax pool and spend a good amount of money in said supermarket. I know this is contentious and I expect loads of stick! Especially from the lovely Angela???GRRR!
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Personally I wouldn’t have cared how far the parent and child spaces were from the shop, I just needed to open the door wide enough to reach in and release the seat belt or the car seat. Never could understand why shops didn’t ‘get’ that distinction ie proximity / space. Neither did I understand why they didn’t designate end spaces as parent and child as you get extra space there, even if you do stand in a flower bed.
Mind you a covered walkway, so you don’t end up with a “drowned” independent 2yr old who insists on walking despite the rain, would then be handy!
Totally agree blue badge spaces should be the closest, and not for use by those popping to the bank machine!
I also can see a case for an ‘extra space’ badge for those terribly overweight – a conclusion I reached whilst pregnant. I’d rather that than get my car dented.
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Hi Rosie.
I so do understand the whole child bit, been there and still doing it!!!! My point is there are many other members of our community who have problems with mobility and health but don’t qualify for blue badges.
Mobility problems sometimes account for people being “fat”. Brain injuries often have a massive effect on the endocrine system, messing around with hormones etc. also having an effect on weight one way or the other. Really all very unpleasant and frustrating. I don’t know what the solution is? Thankfully we have online shopping now but that comes with problems too. Overspending/addiction????? So glad you are following. Huge thanks.
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Hi Tamsyn, I have just read your blog entries I recall meeting and chatting to you over lunch at broomfield many years ago and being struck by the very bright and intelligent daughter of my darling friend Barbara-I want to congratulate you on your blog -what a great inspiration you are at 32!!managing and coping with an acquired brain injury and telling it as it is, hour by hour, day by day and not dressing it up(as if you could) Myself and Steph use to visit bouncability in Colchester a trampolining centre for children with or without disability both physical and mental their over riding ethos and mantra was ‘Labels are for Jam Jars’.. Keep writing and we hope to see you and mum over the half term Bx
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Thank you xx So pleased you like the Blog. I am way out from my comfort zone with writing but am loving it. Will be lovely to see you both in half term xxx
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[…] service on the bus because others believed them to be drunk. Those accosted and tutted at when they use disabled parking bays, having the audacity to look able-bodied. Individuals labelled “lazy” or “difficult” when […]
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Well said.
Love the thought of the buggy coming out before the blue badge , whilst someone else who should know better (in view of their own situation) lets their blood pressure rise. I’d do exactly the same.
So many problems could be avoided if we weren’t judgmental. I suppose it’s the selfish few that end up destroying people’s trust in the majority.
Perhaps we should all try to believe that there is much more good than bad in this world and not assume the worst.
X
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